Script-ure reading for the greatest love story in the Bible
by James Admans
January 16, 2023
Images: King Saul (top left), Bathsheba (top right), David and Jonathan (bottom left), Michal and David (bottom right)
This past Sunday, I was guest preaching in drag for HA:N UMC on what I think is the greatest love story in the Bible: the story of David and Jonathan. Most cisgender, heterosexual theologians would think that this is a story of great friendship between two men rather than a story of lovers. The question is: What lens do we use when we read this story? What biases do we have? For most of history, biblical scholars have fallen trap to compulsory heterosexuality, or the automatic assumption that each person they encounter is straight until said otherwise. Or, is the story of David and Jonathan one of queer-coding or camouflaging? Based on the outline by Gary David Comstock’s Gay Theology Without Apology and scriptures in 1 and 2 Samuel, this sort of re-telling with a theatrical flourish was made for a worship context where there is typically not time for an in-depth reading of scripture. This script highlights many of the “queer hints” that lead many to believe this story is one of queer love.
The entire the story of David and Jonathan is a long one scattered throughout two books of 1 and 2 Samuel. This script can be used in place of a traditional scripture reading or in conjunction with a shorter reading from the text. We used 1 Samuel 1:26, “ I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; greatly beloved were you to me; your love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women” (NRSVUE). This script has six parts: Narrator, David, Bathsheba, Michal, Jonathan, and Saul. NOTE: It does not include the character Mephibosheth (2 Samuel 9), but typical queer readings of David and Jonathan mention Mephibosheth and describe him in the category of queer or chosen family (I decided to mention this part in my sermon rather than including it in the script).
You are free to use this script in your worship services. Please use written or printed attribution to James Admans/Marge Erin Johnson and theologyqueen.com.
CAST
Narrator, who tries to keep the story going without interruption from the cast of characters who are in it. Mostly unbothered.
David, the egotistical anti-hero who defeats Goliath the Philistine giant, is married to Michal, and is in love with Jonathan; eventually becomes King.
Bathsheba, the future wife of King David. She is not traditionally part of this story but has come to shed light on David’s nonsense during this re-telling.
Michal, the sister of Jonathan, wife of King David, and daughter of King Saul. She eventually helps David escape from Saul’s wrath.
Jonathan, an unconventional nurturer of David, Saul’s son, Michal’s brother.
Saul,: the first King of ancient Israel in what today is known as Palestine, typically angry and jealous of David.
SCRIPT
Narrator: A long, long, long, long time ago, there was a man named Samuel. He was the LAST JUDGE to rule over all of ancient Israel, in what today is known as Palestine. But leaders do not last forever... Samuel anointed Saul as the first king. The books of 1st and 2nd Samuel recount this transitional period: from King Saul’s reign and eventual death to the rise of David as king.
David: Yes, that’s right! ‘Tis I, the legitimate King of Israel, here to tell you about my very successful reign.
Bathsheba: Oh really? Please define success.
David: Bathsheba, yes, hello, one of my darling wives, and the mother of my child Solomon. I thought we got rid of your lines. You don’t even have a speaking part in the Bible! What are you doing here?
Bathsheba: I’m here to make sure the story is told right. By the way, this isn’t even about your reign. We all know the real stars of this story are Michal and Jonathan.
Michal: Thank you, Bathsheba. You know most Queer Theologians don’t even mention me in this story.
Bathsheba: Smells like misogyny. David, you should know plenty about that.
Jonathan: Oohh!! Roasted!
David: Jonathan, my love, it doesn’t have to be this way now that we are reunited. At last, we can finally be together.
Narrator: Ahem… As I was saying, Jonathan was once very enamored with David. He had slain the BEAST Goliath the Philistine.
Bathsheba: Hey Narrator! It’s actually not clear if it was David or Elhanan who defeated Goliath.
Narrator: Well, that is true. But for the sake of this version, it was David who defeated Goliath. He did it when Jonathan had failed his military exploits, which is one reason why it is so significant.
Jonathan: Rude! What the hell, Narrator?
Bathsheba: You’re not making any friends here, Narrator!
Narrator: Well… again, as I was saying, David came around and defeated Goliath. Jonathan’s Father, who was King Saul, called for David to join him. Then, when David had finished speaking with Saul, the soul of Jonathan was bound to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul… King Saul took David into his house. Then, Jonathan made a covenant with David. Jonathan stripped himself of the robe that was upon him and gave it to David, and also his armor, and even his sword and his bow and belt.
Bathsheba: Dang, really, Jonathan?
Jonathan: Listen, Bathsheba. We all make mistakes, and some of us have made the mistake that is King David.
Bathsheba: Speak for yourself!
Michal: Been there. It is really awkward. I married him, but it was definitely not worth the trouble. Plus, he was dating my brother.
Narrator: Anyways, David went out and was successful wherever King Saul sent him. But the people began to praise David more than King Saul.
Jonathan: He was sooooo dreamy!
Narrator: This displeased Saul. So, Saul spoke to Jonathan and all his servants that they should kill David. But Jonathan delighted much in David, and told him…
Jonathan: David, my love, Saul my father seeks to kill you; therefore stay in a secret place and hide yourself. If I learn anything, I will come and tell you.
Narrator: Then, war broke out again. David was a fierce warrior! But Saul sent out spies to watch and assassinate David. But Michal knew what was happening.
Michal: David, my darling husband, if you do not save your life tonight, tomorrow you will be killed.
Narrator: So Michal let David down through a window, and he escaped the wrath of Saul. And then…
Bathsheba: Hold on a second. Y’all are hearing this, right? David was married to Michal, But he was dating her brother Jonathan at the same time. THE DRAMA! Then, Michal helped David escape, all because their father Saul wanted to kill David because David was more popular than Saul. That’s so petty! You can’t make this stuff up!
David: Okay, yeah, most of that is true. But it was never official with me and Jonathan. I don’t like labels.
Jonathan: No, that’s basically what happened. David, you can’t be like that. You can’t say it wasn’t official when you had unconditional access to me. Also, sorry, Michal.
Michal: I forgive you. Sisters over misters!
Bathsheba: This story is chaotic. Michal, I’m surprised you didn’t channel the biblical womanhood of Jael and her tent peg. David, you are gaslighting everyone. Get outta here with that whole “I don’t like labels” crap. We all know how this story ends with your extravagant lament.
Narrator: No spoilers! Let me finish… Since David had escaped, and Jonathan knew what had happened, Saul became angry yet again.
Saul: You son of a perverse, rebellious woman! Do I not know that you have chosen David, the son of Jesse, to your own shame? Therefore, send and fetch him to me, for he shall surely die!
Jonathan: Why should David be put to death? What has he done?
Narrator: Then, Saul cast his spear at Jonathan to smite him. Jonathan knew he was determined to put David to death. Jonathan left in anger. He ate no food for days because he was worried about David, who his father had disgraced. Then, Jonathan went to be with David in their secret meeting place. When they met, they kissed one another and wept with one another. Saying that God would always bind them together, they pledged their lives to each other forever before they parted. Then Jonathan said to David…
Jonathan: The Lord shall be between me and you and between my descendants and your descendants forever.
Narrator: Jonathan returned to the city, while David fled to the wilderness because he was afraid that Saul would try to kill him. Jonathan went out to find David in the wilderness. He said to David…
Jonathan: Fear not, for the hand of Saul my father shall not find you. You shall be king over Israel, and I shall be next to you.
Narrator: Jonathan and David made a covenant together again before Yahweh. David remained in the wilderness, and Jonathan went home. But later on, Jonathan and Saul were slain in battle against the Philistines. And when that news was brought to David, David took hold of his clothes and ripped them, and he mourned and fasted, and crying out for Jonathan, David lamented:
David: Thy glory, O Israel, is slain upon thy high places! How are the mighty fallen! Saul and Jonathan, beloved and lovely! In life and death they were not divided; they were swifter than eagles, they were stronger than lions. How are the mighty fallen in the midst of battle! Jonathan lies slain upon thy high places. I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; very pleasant have you been to me; your love to me was wonderful, passing the love of women. How mighty are the fallen, and the weapons of war perished!
Bathsheba: Well, there it is. Passing the love of women, huh?
Michal: Now we know how you really felt about us.
Jonathan: But David, you don’t like labels? What do you call this?
David: Jonathan, many biblical scholars think that we were just friends.
Bathsheba: Yeah, the cisgender, heterosexual ones. Haven’t you ever heard of camouflaging or queer-coded characters? We can all see right through this!
Narrator: In contests for control after Saul’s death, David eventually became King of Israel. Eventually, David went out seeking the bones of Saul and Jonathan, and buried them in their native region of Benjamin.